That’s right. I said it. We’re freaking terrible. Ok, that might be a slight exaggeration, but it’s true. Mommies can be horrible friends. And I get to say this, because I myself am a mommy. I’ve actually been blessed with super duper and helpful non-mommy friends who stuck by my side through thick and thin and served as lovely “aunties” to my kiddos, but I have heard other fellow mommies with the issue of losing touch with friends because they just simply don’t get why mommies just don’t come around anymore.
Before getting married and having kids, I was the best friend one could have. I’d help you move, paint your new apartment, tag along to an awkward dinner party, keep you company while you returned random items at the mall, homemake the most thoughtful presents for your birthday (Which, looking back, were kinda crap – I wasn’t the craftiest person), not to mention actually remembered your birthday, housesat, dog-sat, slept over, drove over an hour just to see a friend, you name it! I was there.
But those days are gone! Why? Because we’ve got our kiddos and houses and husbands that require all of that same stuff, and our cope container is full. And if we don’t put our kids, home and husband first, then who will? And I know that sucks, but now is the time when we absolutely must put the health and happiness, and financial well-being towards our families in order for it to thrive. Our responsibilities to be a good friend have a had to shift to raise a good family, with children who are raised to be kind-hearted, productive members of society.
Do we feel guilty? YES! Do we feel bad? YES! Do we feel left out every time we see Facebook pictures of you drinking margaritas with your other non-kiddoed-up gal pals? Absolutely. But not any guiltier than we’d feel to give up a Saturday afternoon to help you pick out a new pillow sham rather than spending it canoodling with the kiddos and hubby or driving someone to soccer practice, karate, art lessons, doctor’s appointments…and the sickest part is, we LOVE it!
And one day, don’t worry. You’ll have us back. And as luck would have it, as soon as all our kiddos turn old enough to suck their own snot out of their noses, you may have just jumped on the baby wagon, and we’ll be SOL ourselves for a partner in crime! But you know what YOU WILL INDEED
have? Someone who’s been there and done that and happy to bring you over a meatloaf with tons of gravy to help you through it. Until then, friends, please know that our undying love for you will never go away, and that our experiences with being your confidant, your assistant, your shopping buddy, is what helped us build the patience we much needed when we started our family. And also – just know – that we are totally jealous of the act that you can literally take a nap whenever the heck you want! Enjoy it while it lasts!